square one.

so… she called…

and i don’t know yet exactly how to process it.

on one hand, it was REALLY great to hear her voice. on the other hand – it totally sucked, because the days, without her in them, were FINALLY getting easier.

nothing had changed.

there were no “new” developments in terms of how she feels regarding our relationship.

this is still something she has to do – for herself. for me. whatever…

And as much as i wanted to say “it’s ok! go ahead and change your mind! we can go back to where we were! Now, tell me ALL about your trip!!” –

Because in FACT, i never really had an issue with her wishy-washiness. The way I saw it – we weren’t “serious” – SO WHAT if she went back and forth in deciding what she wanted?! I didn’t think it was something to be concerned with – considering where we were/weren’t in our relationship.

– at this point, there’s no going back… I can’t. Not now. And as much as I REALLY wish the circumstances were different… they’re not.

I need to process more thoughts before I write anymore.

~ by bentfocus on July 16, 2008.