…just to clear my head.
1. even though i’m a LOT busier these days, i’m also a LOT lonelier… hmm.
2. i took and processed a few pictures this afternoon. just for fun… just for me.
3. i think my mom thinks i’m mad at her… i’m not.
4. ready to take a week off work. sooner, rather than later.
5. been reading about olympic photographers. realize how much i’ve probably been trying to force a style that isn’t ‘me’. at least not in its entirety… still trying to figure it out. thinking i should return to my minimalist, photojournalistic roots. maybe? possibly. i don’t know.
6. wish i could find contentment in just being single. i feel like such a magnet for drama. i know i create it for myself… intentionally? you wouldn’t think so… but probably. somehow… hmm. subconscious intention? is that possible?
7. i’m rambling. but that’s ok. i’m going to go with it.
8. i hate this keyboard and mouse. my keys are starting to stick… which actually kinda grosses me out a little.
9. if i could do anything in the world that i wanted to today (or anyday) – i wouldn’t be doing it here.
10. sometimes i feel like dallas, as much as i like living in the city, has killed my creative fire. i find no inspiration here. nothing. not a damn thing. it’s fucking hot as 50 hells – which keeps me inside. and even if it were 85 and beautifully sunny, what the hell is there to do? sit on a patio somewhere and drink. Shop. Go for a walk on katy trail. Take murphy to the dog park… Museum… Shop… photos – yeah, i’d like to think i’d be more inclined to get out and take more photos. Meh. hard though, to create without inspiration to create.
11. i should read more ‘real’ books… old school. you know, like printed stuff on paper… remember that?
12. i wish i new what the hell i was doing.
13. quite happy to be able to turn my head! i spent a full week with a stiff/sore neck – for no apparent reason. was really hard to change lanes when driving. kinda sucked.
14. i’m 100% broke until payday. not exaggerating. not even a little. i always count my fucking chickens before they’ve hatched, and i payed an extra bill – anticipating a freelance check. which, of course, has yet to show up… story of my life. you’d think i’d learn.
15. i am really optimistic (normally), but today – i’m kinda in a pissy-ass mood… (clearly).
16. i keep wondering… “what is going to, FINALLY, be the catalyst for the changes i need to make?”
17. just got an email from a friend of mine – we actually used to work together – saying she’s moving to san francisco… seems like she JUST moved to chicago…
18. i wish it would rain.
19. rather glad that i don’t have the cash to do much of anything this weekend. less pressure to go/do.
20. it’s nice to finally have a proper desk chair (and a proper bed for that matter my neck/back must’ve been freaking out this past week from all of the comfort! it’s the only explanation i can come up with for the stiff neck.
21. ok. i’m going to try REALLY, REALLY hard to finish this friggin website so i can get it off my plate. i’m officially ‘behind schedule’. Boo.
22. i <3 cap’n crunch.